eqahhh. ♥

in love.

2012-03-05T00:48:00.002+08:00

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty much contented with life right now. Through the ups and downs, this has definitely been one hell of a ride for me. Yet I still think there's more to come and yup! I'm in love with you even more each day, not showing it to you but I am. Oh well, I'm in love, that's all that matters! Goodnight! ;)

2012-02-22T14:11:00.003+08:00

When nothing else matter, but you. Thank god for everything. Really pleased, and contented with whatever I have right now. Wouldn't wanna trade this life with anything else in this world....Love you avi! :)

2012-02-13T14:11:00.003+08:00

I hate how things have to end so quickly. How we end up being where we are now, I really have got no idea. Guess your friend was right after all, we weren't meant to be. You should have listened to her instead. Yup, kinda hurt to be in this situation, but if this keeps you happy, to be away from me, leave me, to be with someone that'll make you happy, I guess you made the right move then. Didn't quite believe it might end this fast but yeah, life goes on. Even with or without the ones I love. Thank you for the past 9 months. Really blessed to have met you. Thank you for the chance to be in love with you. I guess this is it. We're over now.

2012-02-12T11:48:00.002+08:00

This is gonna be hard, ain't gonna be easy. Yes. But I'm sure it will all be worth it. Sometimes things just won't go our way. I won't give up, I hope you won't too. Love you still Avinesh Mana Mohan.

2012-02-09T18:58:00.001+08:00

I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING TIRED OF LIFE TIRED OF EVERYTHING FUCKING WANNA GET OUT OF THIS MESS AND JUST FUCKING DIE

avvvvvvvvv baby

2012-02-05T23:28:00.001+08:00

Love you like a love song baby ;)

2012-01-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

I'm just fucking tired of everything

20th

2012-01-20T23:24:00.002+08:00

Life's been really tough these days. I seriously suck at this. I'm sorry. I love you still.

2012-01-12T21:13:00.002+08:00

Don't know why you're wasting your time on me.

Sigh

2012-01-08T19:28:00.002+08:00

To be honest, I really don't know how I'm feeling right now. I knew somehow or rather, this feeling would eventually come along as time goes on. Of course I'm happy for you if you are happy yourself. But sigh, I guess I have to respect your decisions these days. And honestly, it feels so different to be around you nowadays. I don't know how I need to react just so I won't make you angry. Yet, I still do get on your nerves most of the time.

Sucks to be me now. I am really scared you might just leave me for her. Now that you guys been talking, sigh I don't know. But I feel really insecure. Like you might fall for her and forget me eventually. Well you used to like her. I don't know how you might be feeling whenever you talked to her. All I know is that, I'm just scared you might fall in love with her all over again. Yes it's ridiculous to feel this way, but I can't help but to feel this way. You might be getting over me and wanna be with her? I don't know. I feel very insecure. You don't know how much my heart drops seeing you do things which affects me so much. I'm sorry I over react. I can't help it myself. It's like you don't seem to be interested in us anymore. I'm sure as hell am afraid to lose you, I don't know bout you tho. I bet you'd be ok to walk away from this. I don't know. I guess I should care less and let you do things you want to. Guess I shouldn't be so affected with the things you do. Guess I should be ok with all the things you do, and forget bout it. I don't know what to do right now.

I'm not that strong anymore avi, I'm not. But all I know is that I love you, more than you can ever imagine.

2012-01-05T23:34:00.003+08:00

"Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more"

I've always loved you, and I'll still love you.

7

2011-12-26T02:41:00.001+08:00

Maybe all I need is, you to be there for me and tell me that everything's gonna be alright.

Day 10

2011-12-23T18:01:00.003+08:00

Dear Avi,

I SWEAR TO GOD I MISS YOU LIKE HELL. LIKE REALLY FREAKING MUCH ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES I TALKED TO MYSELF, THINKING THAT YOU ARE HERE BESIDE ME AND I THOUGHT I WAS HUGGING YOU....BUT NO, I'M NOT. REALITY DAWNED UPON ME WHEN I REMEMBERED YOU WERE ACTUALLY AT MELBOURNE AND NOT HERE WITH ME.

THIS SUCKS TO BE AWAY FROM YOU. 10 DAYS FEELS LIKE 10 YEARS AVI, YOU'VE GOT NO GODDAMN IDEA HOW TOUGH IT IS FOR ME HERE. YES I MAY BE EXAGGERATING BUT HELL NO, IT'S TOUGH AVI. IT HAS BEEN A STRUGGLE FOR ME, RIGHT FROM THE DAY YOU LEFT. I CAN'T SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT, EAT LIKE I'VE NEVER EATEN FOR YEARS, CRYING LIKE I'M DYING OR SOMETHING. IT'S JUST TOUGH AVI. AND WHATEVER I JUST SAID WILL NEVER BE EQUIVALENT TO WHAT I'M FEELING NOW. I NEED YOU NOW, WELL MAYBE ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW I'M FEELING NOW. I'VE BEEN ALONE FOR WAY TOO LONG NOW. JUST WHEN I NEEDED SOME COMPANY TO MAKE TIME PASS FASTER, I DON'T HAVE ANY. JUST NOT NOW AND THAT'S NOT FAIR FOR ME. THIS IS NOT. AND THIS SUCKS. TO BE ALONE. THIS SUCKS AVI. I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY. AND I AM GOING INSANE THINKING BOUT HOW LONG I'VE NOT SEEN YOU, HUG YOU AND KISS YOU.

I MISS YOU AVI. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, IT FUCKING HURTS. L

Day 9

2011-12-22T20:58:00.002+08:00

Dear Avi,

Been 9 days huh? Well, you know what? I miss you so much. Though these days I've been tryna get you off my mind, I can't seem to do so. Everywhere I go, reminds me of you. Everyone out there, reminds me of you. Everything I do, reminds me of you. I just can't explain this feeling, I think about you everyday.

I hope you'd know how much you really mean to me. Right now, I am dying, yearning and longing, to hear your voice. Even if it's just for a while. You do know that my heart still skipped a beat, when you talk to me, be it facebook, twitter, text, chat, phonecalls or even in person. I hope you feel the same way too. Cos I definitely am not fabricating tales. I love you so much and this feelings seems to get bigger and stronger as time goes on.

Ok I'm sorry, I feel like it's too cheesy and crappy. I hope you're having a really good time over at the other side of the world. As for me, well......I'm doing pretty good I reckon. Really can't wait for the next 2 days to be over and done with. Can't wait to see you. I'll be waiting.

I love you.

Day 8

2011-12-21T20:09:00.005+08:00

Dear Avi,

Been 8 days we've been apart. 8 days seems like 8 years. Yes it really is. But shall not worry much, 3 more days and you're back. Am looking forward to Sunday. Can't wait to see you.

One day when the sky is falling,
I’ll be standing right next to you,
Right next to you.
Nothing will ever come between us,
I’ll be standing right next to you,
Right next to you.

Will always love you, forever and always.

xx

Day 7

2011-12-20T14:44:00.002+08:00

Dear Avi,

It's the 7th day we haven't seen each other in person. I swear it's hard for me. To not see you, hug you, kiss you, smell you. I miss everything in you. I swear I do. It's really weird to be outside without you cos I'm so used to having you with me that you've became a part of me. When you're not here, it feels really different, like something's amiss. You have always been my other half ever since that day, that very day when I first saw you. I never knew that you'd mean so much to me then, but now look at me, I can barely survive a day without knowing how you are. My life has truly change having you around Avi, be it good or bad, I guess you're all I ever wanted. Thank you for everything Avi. 8 months has passed yet, I felt like I just knew you a day ago. But lemme tell you this, it has been a struggle being away from you the past few days. There won't be a day I go without thinking of you. I really can't wait to see you Avi. Love you, forever and always♥♥♥

“It’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really hard. & we’re gonna have to work at this everyday but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you forever, you and me, everyday.” - The Notebook

xx

Day 6

2011-12-19T23:37:00.002+08:00

Dear Avi,

So we're left with 5 days till we see each other again right. Yup, well I'm more than happy. Cos it's been pretty tough for me these days without you here. As much as I tried to keep myself busy with things, I simply can't get you off my mind. Even just now, I'm out with my friends, I am still goddamn thinking of you. Chatted with you while I'm with them. I don't know avi. I can't say it's unfair, cos I should be happy that you're online and we could talk. I can't say it's fair, cos I waited for you ALL DAY just to go online, and then you're unhappy cos I can't talk with you when I'm outside. Maybe you're not unhappy, but I can tell. I know you well enough my boy.

Ok so yup, 5 more days. Seemed so long but time will fly really fast actually. I'm dead beat now. Chat with you later in the morning. Love you Avinesh Mana Mohan.

xx

Day 5

2011-12-18T22:31:00.001+08:00

Dear Avi,

It has always been about you.

xx

Day 4

2011-12-17T23:25:00.002+08:00

Dear Avi,

First and foremost, happy 20th birthday my dear Avinesh Mana Mohan. May all your wishes/dreams come true and a year older is a year wiser alright! Hope you had a blast and a really good one at the other side of the world. Sorry if I can't be there for you on this very special day. But you know how badly I wanna be there with you right? It's ok tho! Like I said I'm gonna make it up to you when you get back here ok! But.......to get you your present you hafta wait ok, yknow Iknow ;)

Other than that, I really miss you dear :( Had a really bad night last night, thinking bout you. What's worse was that I was all alone at home, at that point of time. Didn't have anyone whom I could talk to, and all I could afford to do was cry. Guess I'm not that strong. So yup, 7 more days and you're back. I hope I can spend the next few days doing things, cos honestly, when I'm alone, all I could only think of is you. Maybe I should keep myself busy. Just so I could keep , myself occupied. Right now, you're asleep. Having your first 20-years-old sleep. Hehehe. Hope you dream of me :) Alright, I really can't wait for you to come back. See you soon baby. Love you Avinesh Mana Mohan, forever and always♥♥

Day 3

2011-12-16T16:13:00.003+08:00

Dear Avi,

Guess what, we've got 8 days left till we can finally see each other, in real life!!! So gonna hug you real tight....till you suffocate. Hehe ok no! Anyway, yup. I've been managing well so far here without you. Quite tough tho cos every second, I'll always think bout you without fail. But, fret not. I've been doing things to keep myself occupied. Yup. So far, so good :)

Hope you're doing good down there too. Take plenty of photos cos I wanna see them when you get back here ok. And and, your big day is in a few hours time. Really hope you have a good time there ok. Wish I could be there :( Sighhhhhhhhh, but it's ok. I can have you all by myself once you get back. And I'd make it up to you ok!!!!!!!!! Alright I hope you are doing fine there baby. Love you so much Avi!!! See you real soon ;)

Day 2

2011-12-15T18:55:00.003+08:00

Dear Avi,

It's been two days since we've last seen/met each other. Only god knows how dearly/badly I wanna see your face. It's real bad. I can go crazy/insane thinking bout you every second. You never fail to be on my mind all the time. The more I stay alone, the more I miss you. Can't wait for the next 9 days to be over and done with. Finally I'll meet you.

As for now, life's been pretty bad not having you here by my side. Yet to get use to your absence. But it's true what they said, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's all a matter of time. By 24th you'd be back, god's willing. I'll pray for you to have a safe flight back home. I'll be waiting for you ok. And......I'm really sad cos I can't and won't be able to be there for you on your big day 17/12 :( You know how bad I wanna spend your birthday together with you, don't you? Please just get back home as soon as possible ok. For all that matters now is that, I know you're doing well and good on the other side of the world :) Well to me, that's what matters most. Hope you read the letters each day. Just so to keep yourself reminded of me. Wish I could be there, wish you know how crazy it is to be miles away from you. Wish you'd knew.

Ok it's all good tho. I'm managing well :) The class has got plans over the holidays, so it'll keep me occupied for the time being. Hope I'll pull through tonight, the second night, without you. And you know what would be the best thing that could happen now? To hear your voice. I'd trade everything I have just so I could hear your voice right now. That's how bad, I truly miss you.

Please be good and hope you're having fun there ok? Love you and miss you more, bigger than the universe is now.

Day 1

2011-12-13T18:48:00.004+08:00

Avi, hope you'll have a safe and pleasant flight to Aussie later. God knows how much I really miss you now. But, 10 days, by next weekend you'll be back. Really hope time flies really really super fast, just so you'd be back right here with me. There's so many things I wanna tell you, plenty of things Avi. As of now, all you need to know is that I love you so much. And all I really want right now is you to be here with me. Every time, I'm gonna pray real hard, that you'll be safe wherever you are, whoever you are with and whenever it is. Please please, do enjoy yourself as well while you're there with your family. Have lotsa fun and don't worry bout me ok! I'll be fine and good too. Just remember that I'll be there for you and am patiently waiting for 24th to come right now. Alright dear, love you so much. See you real soon :)

♥eqah

7th

2011-12-08T00:12:00.002+08:00

Hi, so I had the most awesomest 17th ever. And yup I mean it when I said awesomest ever. Thank you to all those who made it happen and I really am thankful and grateful for all the trouble you all had to go through and all that you guys have done for me. Love you all to bits and pieces.

To my handsomest and cutest boy, thank you for everything and you're the bestest gift I've ever had. No words can describe how happy I am right now to be with you. Thank god for that. I love you, forever and always.

2011-11-30T14:44:00.001+08:00

I goddamn swear I feel like crying right now.

Love

2011-11-28T08:06:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on.

The one.

2011-11-27T21:46:00.002+08:00

I'd rather die than stay away from you

Love you Avinesh Mana Mohan.

My only sunshine

2011-11-21T12:50:00.002+08:00

The only reason why I wake up smiling every single day♥

:)

2011-11-16T12:29:00.004+08:00

Hope you're feeling all better my dear. Love you and only god knows how much I need you now.

Forever and always

2011-11-14T14:08:00.002+08:00

So blessed to be with you. Hope you are too. I love you, more than words can say.

Breakeven

2011-11-04T14:20:00.003+08:00

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just praying to a God that I don't believe in

'Cause I got time while she got freedom

'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first

While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping

'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving

And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces

One still in love while the other one's leaving

I'm falling to pieces

('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame.

Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh

'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in

'Cause I got time while she got freedom

'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break

No it don't break

No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok

(Oh glad your okay now)

I'm falling to pieces yeah

(Oh I'm glad your okay)

I'm falling to pieces yeah

(One still in love while the other ones leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no

Hehehehe ♥♥♥

2011-10-28T08:15:00.003+08:00

Hi baby, I guess you might be reading this now. Well I just want you to know that I love you so much and nothing matters the most to me now but you. I wouldn't wanna trade you for anything else, that's for sure. I can't see myself or imagine life without you now. All I can assure you now that you're the bestest, bestest, bestest thing to me now, and I want it to be forever. Nuff said, you know I love you. That's all that matters to me now. I love you forever and always, remember that please.

And sorry if I get too jealous and insecure :( I can't help it but to feel that I might lose you someday. Wouldn't want that to happen please. I love you ok. Mwahhhhhhh.

Hungry for you

2011-10-26T10:56:00.002+08:00

Honestly, doubts killed us all, not distance. No matter how far apart we'll be from each other, it doesn't matter. Doubting each other was what killed us. I swear I hate doubting, but we're human beings after all. We doubt.

So......everything's gonna be ok I guess. All is fine and I definitely am looking forward to everyday as of now. Cos I'm gonna miss you when you're away in December later. But for now, I'm gonna spend most of my time with you just so you won't miss me that much when you're in Aussie later. Mhmm, I don't think it's necessary to talk bout anything else. Haha ok bye everyone. Happy deepavali Avi baby. Y u so cute? Love you ;)

xx

hi av

2011-10-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

So hi errrrbody. Life's been pretty good I'd say? What more can I ask for? Gone through all the ups and downs, definitely more to come but as of now everything is fine I guess. I am content with whatever I have now, the people I'm with, the life I'm getting. Thank god for everything. Seriously, I've got no idea of what to type now. I've got nothing in mind, just wanna say that I'm deeply in love with av and there's nothing I can do about it. No matter how many other better ones there are out there, where can I find someone like him? Didn't cross my mind either to find someone like him. Hmm forget it, I'm all good. I hope I'm good enough for him like how he's good enough for me. Alright goodnight all.

xx

love you forever av

2011-10-19T14:39:00.000+08:00

hi everybody hehehehe

Screw it

2011-09-22T22:37:00.002+08:00

To be honest, I don't know where I went wrong in life sometimes to be treated this way. Am I not good enough for anyone, or I don't deserve anyone. Fuck this feeling I'm done with everything.

you don't know me you don't even care

Love hurts whether it's right or wrong

2011-09-20T08:58:00.002+08:00

Typing out what I wanna say then backspacing it all after reading it over again, sucks. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Well all I can say is that, to avoid from disappointments, we've got to stop expecting. October better be good cos September has been a hell of a ride for me. Nuff said xx

Cos I'll still love you no matter what happens

Tonight tonight tonight

2011-09-13T02:51:00.001+08:00

Love you too much it hurts boy.

Donkey years

2011-09-08T20:21:00.002+08:00

hi all. been abandoning this blog for a very long time. haha been donkey years since i last updated this. oh well hi everyone life's been great for me. by far the best times of my life's been happening this few months. thank god. im tired now haha k bye. tumblr handsomeromeoandjuliet.tumblr.com

I want you forever and always

Boy you get me high

2011-05-31T10:14:00.002+08:00

Hi baby

Hehehehe, I am gonna dump this blog soon. So lazy to update this old rusty blog uh. Haha k bye. Anyway, I miss a lot of people uh. Kkkkk byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Enough is enough

2011-05-21T19:33:00.003+08:00

Hi, I'm supposed to be studying for UTs now. But I think a little update won't kill hehe. So anyway, life's been a little bitchy these days. So many things happening. Fret not tho, I'm trying to keep it all cool and not gonna let it affect me in anyway. Basically, I've got other better things to think bout yknow. So, yknow who you are, if you think what you did to me made me weak,well guess what, it made me stronger. Haha, what a mistake you made there. Oh well, I wish the best for you and may you find the girl who deserve you better alright. You def deserve better. Really. I'm not the one for you. It's pretty clear you see. Mmm, forget it I shall not waste my time on this. I've got better stuffs to think about. Hope you come across this ok cos you know how much it hurts to be insulted. Well I'm not trying to be mean but here you go _l_. Hahaha k bye.

I'm still young, enjoying my life

eqah the cutest can?

2011-05-20T13:45:00.002+08:00

Hi av! You're on my blog. Hope you like it here and yeah. Thank you for being there for me when I'm terribly in need of someone to talk to. You never fail to cheer me up and make sure everything's alright. Well, you're definitely the best k. Hehe. K byeeeeeeeee :3

You shooooooo cute uh

Maths, why you so bitchy? :(

2011-05-14T19:06:00.002+08:00

Hi, I'm supposed to be studying now. But I'm easily distracted, as usual. Hehe. But I'm waiting for av now. Mmm sorta bored yknow. So here's a little update of what's going on with my life. So I guess many might be wondering what's going on right, I can't figure it out either. Life's been pretty hectic for me. Yeah, hectic it is. With school, floorball, hockey and many more. Sigh. I really needa learn how to manage my time cos honestly,I feel like I'm running out of time but I don't know what it is. Ah crap, I think whatever I said doesn't make sense. So don't bother reading k. I'm gonna start studying soon. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. K bye.

Hope you're fine boy

Need you now

2011-05-12T09:23:00.000+08:00

I miss this. Hmm, time flies everyone's busy with their own lives now. Sigh.

Boy you're so one in a million

2011-05-10T07:59:00.002+08:00

HI

I'm in school now and am very early so I think I'll just post some crap here. Hehehe. Life's been good so far, yknow why. Haha. Yesterday had floorball Physical Training. Ohh, tell me bout it. I was lucky to have survived at the end of the day. Heeeehe. Running 5km is torturing k. Not funny at all. But despite the distance and all, I managed to jog all the way and didn't stop hehe :) #happygirl and #healthygirl. Yet, I think the effort all went to waste cos I ate maggie when I got home -.- hmm.
Sighhhhhhh, I needa keep up with my fitness and will try not to slack k. K I'm done now bye.

I got no idea what to write but this is for you, I love you

Stay home Saturday :(

2011-05-07T21:07:00.004+08:00

So, hiiiiiiiiiii.
Today I'm literally staying home. Even tho I'm at Nani's but I still stay indoor. Not outside :( So boring. Yet, am happy tho. Managed to skype with Av in the morning just now. Hehe. And, now I'm supposed to be studying but instead I'm blogging and hell yeah took a whole lot of photos. Heeeeehehe :> I don't know why but I just can't wait. I'm not sure what I'm anticipating for but I just feel so excited for something. Haha yeah crazy, I know. Right now, life's been way too good. And I'm very happy. Thank you god :)

Cos you're the apple to my pie

Count on me

2011-05-07T09:35:00.002+08:00

Hi, it's pretty weird for me to get up this early on a Saturday. But I think it's a good habit tho so yeahhhhhhh. I went jogging just now and it is kinda sad cos I totally lost touch of my stamina and I really needa keep up with my fitness since I wanna get into RP's floorball team. Hell yeah, I needa jog jog jog jog k. Skyping with Av now. K, bye. Hehehehe.

You got me thinking all night long boy

Hi Avi^^

2011-05-07T00:12:00.003+08:00

You don't needa know the reason why, cos you already know what it is. Call me crazy, but I'm smiling all the way typing this k. Well, I myself wonder, "why me". So yeah av, why me? Hehe.

Imma sleep with the biggest, humongous smile on my face tonight.

E37G ♥

2011-04-22T02:42:00.002+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

So school's out, and I'm happy that I managed to survive the whole four days in school. Besides the assignments and stuffs. Oh well. Thanks to, you know who, I'm doing all good and fine. Hehe. Alright, I'm supposed to be meeting Av later but I'm still not asleep. The fuck. Hahaha. Omg, why were you so cute just now asking me that question of all a sudden? It got me dumbstrucked, but hell yeah I won't take it seriously cos let's not make things awkward between us. :)

And my, #forevercoolkids buddy was awesome! He treated me ice cream \m/ heheh. He's the best uh siulllllllllll. So sweet ahah! So does the rest of my classmates are. They are the best. Alright, saya nak tidur. Saya penat. Saya akan berbual dengan awak soon okay? (FUCK SHIT I SUCK IN MALAY) K bye bye. Night night everyone.

You're my new obsession boy

2011-04-17T21:25:00.002+08:00

LIFE AIN'T EASY, IT NEVER WAS.

Drink drunk drama

2011-04-10T16:48:00.004+08:00

Hi, my life's been #forevershitty. So, here's a little something i'll just share for now. I've got a job already. And i think it's better than nothing. I'll be starting tomorrow. Wish me luck. Hehe. K, shall talk bout last night. Was kinda fun to celebrate Fazianti's bday yesterday. And we played a lot of games, my group got second place. Hehe ^^ Even tho the games were very childish, yet Afiq and Firhan(being 19yrs old) joined us. Haha how cute? I know. After which, we spent the night at her place and some of them got a little tipsy whoop whoop. I didn't get drunk ok. And i did learn how to rave, haha! It's ultra funny and i won't do it in the club i swear. Haha. But the way ira and khai did it was cute. Hahahaha alright, that's all. Nothing magnificent has yet to happen. It's raining and i wanna sleep again. Goodnight/afternoon. Bye.

Tell me you love me, how sure are you?

My boyfriend? Haha crazy.

2011-04-05T03:34:00.001+08:00

I'm very tired, goodnight xx

Seriously, what's up with Rave and clubbing?

2011-04-04T03:26:00.002+08:00

Hi been really lazy to blog these days cos Tumblr seem to be the easier and faster way to blog, but fret not. I won't leave my blog and let it rot and die HAHAHA. Ok so life's been sucha pain in the neck, well yknow why. There's nothing else I can be bothered to talk bout. My love life is definitely one disaster. Honestly, when my family keep on asking me bout you, I just left them unanswered. I suck a lot k. I admit it. You don't hafta come rubbing it to my face. And tell me to have fun with the boys or whatever shit it was. How many times do I have to say that and repeat that they are all just my friends. Well don't deny it, you had your own bestfriend to add Kamal Ruzaman in facebook just to check on me. Right? HAHA I WASN'T BORN YESTERDAY BABY. Think that's cute is it? Hahahahaha. Up to you luh k. I'm tired, very tired of thinking on how to make things right over and over again. Just when I was so close to making it right, things went totally fucked up and bammmmm there goes my hopes*down the drain*, tryna make it all right. So I guess I hafta keep things the way it is.

Life ain't perfect, so just keep dreaming

Everyday I'm shuffling..... NOT.

2011-04-02T17:13:00.005+08:00

Hi now, I'll make this a proper update. Even tho I'm not feeling so well now, I'll try k. I myself don't know what's happening with my love life now. Kinda complicated you see. And whoever's tryna judge me or bitch bout me, well think twice bitches. You don't know me so I suggest you to shut the fuck up. Mmm, yeah. Come to think of it, which girlfriend would have the guts to tell their boyfriend that she's talking to another guy. Well I did that. Cos I know that we're just friends and nothing more. I'm not afraid cos I know deep down I still love Alfi and treating my friend as a friend, nothing beyond that. So deal with it k. Besides that, I've been occupying my time being more productive, in a way. Went to play soccer with Firhan and gang yesterday. It was definitely funny cos seriously, soccer and me don't get along well enough. HAHA much. Then slack around then back home. Today, being a good girl I'm staying home on a Saturday. Pathetic much but, what to do. I'm not feeling well either. Hah. K uh I think this is more than enough. Ok bye.

Missing you bb see you in my dreams later, ChrisB

2011-04-01T21:56:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling real shitty the past few days. Only god knows how i'm feeling. It's been really tough. Very. Well how should I say this? I've been a bitch towards Alfi, talking to guys behind his back, coming home late each day, not talking to Alfi at all and absolutely, the worst girlfriend a guy would ever have or wanted. Yeah, that's my life now. Damn, I should just shoot myself and die uh. Seriously. Now I get it, I can never love someone till I'm really really ready. Cos now I know I'm just not ready for a serious and promising relationship. Yeah, we're all still very young and we shouldn't waste it just by having a wrecked relationship and all. But still, ah dammit. I'll just shut up and update later. I'm very very tired.

Hi i miss you k

2011-03-30T01:01:00.005+08:00

Keep your heads up high and don't worry bout a thing. Please be fine, I'll miss you k, I definitely will.

Everyone's crazy lol.

2011-03-28T23:12:00.005+08:00

HI TORRES THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY I LOVE YOU, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL I STILL LOVE YOU MWAHHHHHHH.

Macam G6 - MKRBAG

2011-03-27T04:58:00.004+08:00

Funny that I dreamt bout you last night. But guess what, you didn't even acknowledge me in my dream and it only lasts for at least a decent 5 seconds. How great?

Maybe I'm just not ready, I don't wanna disappoint you no more

goodnight

2011-03-25T03:25:00.001+08:00

www.handsomeromeoandjuliet.tumblr.com

Please, shut up.

2011-03-24T19:31:00.002+08:00

I don't get what some people want from me. They want me to change, fine I will. They want me to sit and rot myself at home, yes I did that already. But damn, why are you people so annoying? It's my life, my money, my stuffs. Stop asking me what I bought, how much money I'm left with, where I am going, who I'm with. Cos all ya'll know is to nag at me and tell me what to do. I hear no bullshit. Please, stop controlling me. It's very very annoying. And I don't live to your expectations. Thank you.

I'm changing god, I am

Damn I was so mad, forgive me god.

2011-03-23T23:30:00.002+08:00

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD SERIOUSLY SHUT THEIR FUCK UP AND MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. THEY KNOW NOTHING BOUT ME SO THEY HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DESPISE ME FOR WHAT THEY HEARD. AND IF YOU THINK I'M SPOILING YOUR IMAGE WELL, YOU CAN JOLLY WELL LEAVE ME. WALK OUT OF ME LIKE HOW MY DAD DID, I'M FINE WITH IT, VERY. THEY KNOW NOTHING BOY, SO THINK HARD BEFORE YOU GET ALL WORKED UP. THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT BUT DAMN I WAS WRONG, SO WRONG BOUT YOU. ANOTHER THING, WHAT'S THERE TO BE PROUD OF GG TO SUCH EVENTS? I DIDN'T BOAST A SINGLE SHIT BOUT IT ALRIGHT. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT FIRST BEFORE JUDGING ANYONE, EVEN YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND.

You know nothing bitch, hell no

You don't know what's happening, you don't even care

2011-03-23T22:33:00.002+08:00

Dear god, I'm gonna get used to this, not seeing/talking to Alfi. Cos he's really busy with Adam Khoo and school. So it's the right thing to do, to support him and be by him every now and then. And I'll occupy my time by going out with friends, go rp on friday to configure my laptop, hunt for jobs and all. Yeah keeping myself busy while he's away. It's okay, everything's gonna be alright.

I am fine, very fine :>

New love, Chris Brown. #justkidding

2011-03-23T04:05:00.004+08:00

I'm not insane but I don't know why on earth I am still awake when it's already 410am, yes 4 in the morning. Something's wrong with my body clock. Damn. Speaking of which, I've missed two appointments for configuring my laptop -.- pfft much? Let friday be the last appointment I make, pretty please? Apart from that, life's been hectic yet fine in a way. Too many plans before school starts, with my companion(Y), TSTM girls/boys, and my very own clique. Damnnnn so many plans. I need to get a job soon before school starts since I need money for my own expenses. Maybe by tomorrow I have to start hunting for one, hopefully. And yes, Alfi's gonna have Adam Khoo later till friday. Which means less texts from him, booooo. Gonna miss you. Alright I'm done for now. Goodnight/morning all. OH WAIT CHRIS BROWN'S NEW ALBUM IS OUTSXXZZZZZ!!!!! DAMMMMMIT I WANNA BUY ONE TOO! ANYONE KIND ENOUGH TO BUY ME ONE, PRETTY PLEASE? :)

The perfect match

The hero lies in you

2011-03-22T15:41:00.003+08:00

DEAR GOD, TODAY I'VE BEEN A GOOD GOOD GIRL SO PLEASE HEAR MY PRAYERS AND KEEP MY BROTHER AWAY FROM THOSE INFLUENCES.

I KNOW I'VE BEEN BAD, BUT LIKE YOU SAID YOURSELF, "EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES", "MANUSIA MANA YANG TAK JAUH DARIPADA KESILAPAN". AND FROM OUR MISTAKES, WE'LL LEARN. LEARN HOW TO BE BETTER AND AVOID THE MISTAKES FROM REPEATING ITSELF. FOR ME, YES I'VE LEARNT A LOT ACTUALLY. I'VE LEARNT THAT NO MATTER HOW BAD I WAS IN THE PAST, THERE ARE STILL PEOPLE WILLING TO GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE TO CHANGE, NO MATTER HOW LONG I TOOK TO REALISE THAT, HE'S STILL WAITING AND GIVING ME CHANCES OVER AND OVER AGAIN JUST TO SEE ME BE A BETTER PERSON AGAIN. AND NOW I OWE MY THANKS TO HIM, FOR BEING THE STRONGEST BOY I'VE KNOWN. WHO'S WILLING TO GO THROUGH THICK AND THIN WITH ME, DESPITE ANY OBSTACLES I'M GOING THROUGH, NO MATTER RAIN OR SHINE, HE'S STILL THERE WAITING FOR ME AT THE END OF THE DAY. HE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH. TOO MUCH THAT I CAN BARELY LIST IT ALL HERE, YEAH THAT MUCH. I HOPE YOU NOW KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEANT TO ME EVEN IF I DON'T SHOW IT TO YOU EVERY NOW AND THEN. IN OTHER WORDS, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT NO ONE ELSE, CAN REPLACE YOU IN MY HEART. YES, THIS IS TRUE. THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING HERE FOR ME, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH ALFI.

It takes a true man, to make a girl realise how much he meant to her

No I wasn't drunk.

2011-03-21T23:03:00.002+08:00

Dear god, please keep my brother away from all those bad influences and show him the bright side of life. I know I've not been a good sister or the best example, I don't want him to be a part from them, those "bad boys". Please please, I'm begging you. Lead him to the right path, I don't wish to lose him. No matter how bad I fought with him, I know he's still my brother and will always be. Nothing's ever gonna change that. To sum it up, I still love him. Thank you god.

I need you to guide him, please

Urgh fuck it, fuck it real hard

2011-03-20T19:28:00.003+08:00

"It gets harder everyday but I can't seem to shake the pain
I'm trying to find the words to say, please stay
It's written all over my face
I can't function the same when you're not here
I'm calling your name but no one's there

And I hope one day you'll see nobody has it easy
I still can't believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best, I guess

Cause everybody knows that nobody really knows
How to make it work or how to ease the hurt
We've heard it all before and everybody knows just how to make it right
I wish we gave it one more try, one more try, one more try
Cause everybody knows but nobody really knows

I don't care what the people say, they're probably lonely anyway
Baby don't fill up your head with he said, she said
It seems like you just don't know
The radio's on, you tuning me out
I'm trying to speak you're turning me down

And I know one day you'll see nobody has it easy
I still can't believe you found somebody new
But I wish you the best, I guess

Cause everybody knows that nobody really knows
How to make it work or how to ease the hurt
We've heard it all before everybody knows just how to make it right
I wish we gave it one more try, one more try, one more try
Cause everybody knows but nobody really knows

Oh, I wish you'd understand
Oh, just an ordinary man
Wish that we had known
Everybody knows but nobody really knows

And I know one day you'll see nobody has it easy
I still can't believe you found somebody new
I wish you the best, I guess

Cause everybody knows that nobody really knows
How to make it work or how to ease the hurt
We've heard it all before everybody knows just how to make it right
I wish we gave it one more try, one more try, one more try
Cause everybody knows but nobody really knows
Nobody really knows, nobody really knows"

Everybody Knows - John Legend (the best)

Imma party hard tonight, bye

2011-03-19T18:01:00.002+08:00

You're gonna leave me one day, might as well leave me now

Love, is just unstoppable

2011-03-18T20:19:00.002+08:00

"I'm not broke I'm just a brokenhearted man. I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do? How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?"

#23

2011-03-18T05:56:00.003+08:00

Eyebags, is sucha killa

Been a pretty rough day. We can't seem to help it but to fall into the same pattern over and over again. It's tough, I know. It's all my fault, I shouldn't have felt jealous, I shouldn't have been too over-reacting, again, I shouldn't have trigger the fight, in the first place. I shouldn't. But now, I know nothing's ever gonna change. Even in a blink of an eye. You changed boy, tremendously. If you know me well enough, why did you have the heart to leave me in a lurch? How could you? Really, how could you? I wonder. Whatever happened that moment seemed to be instantly replaying in my mind, without fail. Yes I was wrong but why can't you put up with me now? You ain't who I used to know. You're just not you. That's all I gotta say. One thing is for certain, you left me in a fucking lurch. If you really love me, why'd you did all that? For your own good I guess. Well guess what, thank god I've got beautiful friends. Or else, I'll be sitting all alone in the middle of the night, out there, thinking bout you. Maybe, I should just give 19th a miss. Needa save money, yes save money.

We're falling apart boy, we are

sigh

2011-03-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

Chris Brown's so fucking hot

black and yellow

2011-03-16T01:41:00.003+08:00

Been a lil' disappointed cos I won't be getting my macbook. Well I'm real sad you see. Cos I pinned my hopes up high for it, but sadly I can't get it thanks to, I don't know who, withdrew 2k from my other bank account. And now I'm only left with 1k to get my laptop and stuffs for poly. I guess I should learn to be more appreciative, okay I will. Shall work hard, earn some decent money, save it and get the macbook. I will I will. Ahahahaha. K for now I'll just make do with whatever I have. Besides, HP ain't that bad right? Heheh, pretty optimistic for a pessimist ayyyyy. Ahaha! Dating my charming boyfriend in a while later. Might be going Sim Lim to check out some IT stuffs. I don't know. Haha well somehow or rather we'll just meet up and plan another plan instead. So typical of us, what's new. Hehe okay I needa sleep. Goodnight. And oh, thank god that I've got some $$$$ in my bank.

We just wanna make the world dance

no tears to waste, not for now

2011-03-15T01:38:00.004+08:00

A fresh new start for us I guess, better understanding. Yes, I needa change. I'll do something bout it. But now, everything is all fine. Thank you god for everything. I know, we all know, you gave us obstacles cos you know that we're capable and strong enough to overcome them. Well I proved you right then. I did overcome the issues I had with my mum. Not settled, but I just thought of something to make myself feel better, which was to pay the enrolment fees and feel more independent. Who doesn't right? Given this situation, that was all I could think of. I'm gonna learn to be more self-reliant, I need to. And the tiff with Alfi is officially over. I shall not brood about it cos I'm too lazy to elaborate. Funny that I've got "followers" for blogspot. Thought that nobody really bothered to occupy their time to read this pathetic blog actually, but to those who does you guys the best. Ha ha ha ha c: Really lightened up my day you see. Wooooots, if it's not too clear, I was being pretty caustic. Heheheh, jk. Ahhhh all that don't matter. As long as you don't know me, who the heck are you to judge me just by reading a petty blog like this. Ahahaha, I don't wanna waste my time, your time. Goodnight.

My cheek is swollen, big time. Thank you ulcer -.-

2011-03-13T21:54:00.002+08:00

GOD DAMN IT, I MISS YOU SO MUCH DON'T YOU GET IT? TEXT/CALL ME PLEASE, THAT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO NOW :'(

Lost in a world full of heartaches

2011-03-13T14:30:00.002+08:00

Yknow I miss you
Everything happened way too fast for me. As far as I'm concern, I don't wish to end it all now. It's too beautiful to be thrown away just like that. Maybe I was too over-reacting. I find too many faults in you till I didn't realise mine either. Shouldn't hafta put the blame on you or anyone else, how selfish was I? Very I guess. Last night was ludicrously horrifying. I ain't gonna fabricate tales or anything, but I cried like a pussy and gosh it hurts badly, my heart. Hurts as bad as yours. But now, who am I to you? I don't even know. Sigh. I know you definitely felt like getting rid of me, I know I know. I shall step down, and let you decide. Maybe parting ways is what's best for you. God, I feel like crying now. Sighhhhhhhh much. This is absurd.

I need you now, I really do

#prayforeqah

2011-03-12T23:08:00.002+08:00

I've been feeling shitty right from the start of the day. I don't feel myself either. God, kill me please.

Sorry god, but today everything ain't fine

2011-03-11T22:22:00.000+08:00

KNNCCB EVERYONE SO ANNOYING TODAY. EAT SHIT AND DIE K.

You can count on me like 1, 2, 3

2011-03-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

Everyday, we can't seem to not argue over the littlest thing. Everything seemed not to work out for us. I know you tried your best, so am I. I'm happy that I have sucha great boyfriend like you, that's certainly true. Are you? Sometimes I doubt myself, wondering if I've been the best for you. Cos I know I ain't anywhere near perfect. I hate being emotional. But this time, I need you to be here assuring me that tomorrow everything's gonna be alright and that I don't hafta worry bout a thing. I miss you :( I know slowly but surely everything's gonna be fine, I just hafta keep believing. And yes, fyi I've been thanking god each day. I feel more blessed, somehow hehe. I love you.

I'm in love with this feeling now

Life's too good to be true heheh

2011-03-10T13:28:00.005+08:00

Teeeeheeeee kinda sad that I'll be getting my macbook in two weeks time. But thank god that I'll definitely buy it, hopefully. Ehehehe. Things been way too great for me. I have everything I want, including Alfi and everything else. Thank you god for all of this. What more can I seriously ask for? I love you, thank you so much :)

With you right here I'm a rocketeer

HEHEH STARBUCKS, YOU SO FLY.

2011-03-09T20:23:00.002+08:00

We were trying to be bunnies, eh nope I'm trying. Cos Alfi already is a bunny. Eheheh. For what is worth, I'm so getting the MacBook Pro ^^ Teeeeheeee. Don't worry bout a thing baby, what's mine is yours what's yours is mine. Sharing is caring. Love you loads. I know you won't upload those photos on your blog, it's okay. I'm used to it. Hehehehehehehe.

Half of my heart

I don't fancy anyone else other than you.

2011-03-09T00:22:00.002+08:00

Now I know how it feels like to give in to the one I love most. I feel more mature and come to think of it, it's my first time putting my ego aside and be sorry for the things I did to you. I won't say you don't have the right to be jealous cos you're my boyfriend afterall. And if it's not too obvious, I've changed, to the better of course. Not pretty much a lot, but it's enough to make you realise that tho. I definitely have to thank god for the strength he had given, and with the right set of mind I managed to get a hold of myself. I don't throw tantrums or complain like a bitch no more. Like I've said, I'm changing. Imma happy kid now. Thank you god.

You know well enough, I still love you

Stay calm and smile <:

2011-03-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

How I wish I could have more strength to go through all of this. God, you're killing me, slowly. I've always thought things would get even better the next minute I woke up, sadly not. I need a breather. Please please please please, I need more strength god. Hear my prayers please.

Life ain't easy at all

REAL DEAL

2011-03-08T04:28:00.000+08:00

I can feel the HP lappy coming now. Woooots. Like getting orgasms thinking of it hahahahahaha!

Praying hard for you everynow and then

HELL YEAH LIVERPOOL

2011-03-06T22:34:00.002+08:00

You pushed me aside, like I'm just a piece of thrash to you. Now I'm all grown up living almost eleven years of my life without you around. Shucks, that's more than enough time for me to realize how strong I am knowing that I've not seen you for a decade or so and the fact that I've been pushed around everywhere and anywhere. Fuck, how sad life is? But god, I'm thankful for all the patience you gave and all the challenges you gave me. Cos in all, this is of course a part and parcels of life. Everybody goes through shit each day. I should be more than grateful to still have a great bunch of family members behind me, the best friends one could ever imagined, the best boyfriend I could ever had and yes my most stunning mum who had been through more than enough shit than anyone else. I hope things will get better. Even if I'm living my life without you, I hope you're doing good yourself wherever you are.

Somehow I miss having a dad

iPhone 4, you're so adorable :)

2011-03-05T00:27:00.003+08:00

Hi! I'm head over heels with my new baby now. But rest assure, alfi's still number one (duhhh). Hahahaha, I really wanna get the 35dollars cover for it but dangggggg. I gotta save up and not spend anymore. Haha, oh well we'll see how. I'll just deal with whatever I have ^^

Dear alfi, yknow even if you don't get the course in nyp I'll still support you in whatever choices you're gonna make. Doesn't mean you don't get into poly I'll hate you for life. What kind of girl would I be if I was to leave you when you need me most? Don't let this be a setback for you, I'll still be there for you like how you're always there for me. I love you still, even if it'll take you one more year to get into poly. Be more optimistic baby. With a pinch of hope, we'll get through this together okay. Love you so much.

Things will get better if you just hold my hand

i change my ways, and you change yours

2011-03-01T22:07:00.001+08:00

Yknow I still love you no matter what happens, this feeling just get stronger each day.

fuck you fuck everything

2011-03-01T17:52:00.002+08:00

"What kind of guy would I be if I was to leave her when she needs me most" - Chris Medina
If only the world has gazzillions of Chris Medina, there'll be lesser girls with heartaches.

What more can I say? I'm sucha fool. Thanks alot Alfi.

Found you

2011-02-28T22:02:00.004+08:00

Hi I love Alfi, k bye.

-..-''

2011-02-27T21:23:00.001+08:00

WELL TONIGHT I'M LOVING YOU

Yknow I want you

2011-02-26T18:47:00.000+08:00

Kill me, that's all I'm asking for

Monday evening

2011-02-21T20:43:00.002+08:00

YKNOW I'M WAY WAY CUTER THAN YOU BOY :)

brown cow

2011-02-15T23:10:00.002+08:00

Please be mine soon

Happy vday everyone ♥

2011-02-14T09:48:00.002+08:00

You made me feel ohh so lousy, yet still love you boy.

2011-02-13T11:19:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU ALFI

Have faith eqah

2011-02-10T13:09:00.003+08:00

HI BABY, G Shock 3180, PLEASE BE GOOD!! LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE-

Funny that i miss him more than you boy.

forever

2011-02-05T11:47:00.001+08:00

STILL LOVE YOU BOY.

same old same old.

2011-01-30T00:39:00.004+08:00

HI BRACES BOY CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER PLEASE? WHY SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE? ♥

ANTICIPATING A DATE WITH BRACES BOY SOOOOOOOON. HEHE CAN'T WAIT!

2011-01-29T16:44:00.000+08:00

FUCK THEM BITCHES.

you beat the shit out of me

2011-01-28T21:30:00.002+08:00

Everything's over and done with boy.

TGIF

2011-01-21T10:40:00.002+08:00

Bruno Mars, marry me?

I rather talk to the moon than you.

2011-01-15T13:55:00.001+08:00

I'm a girl in a mess.

oooooooook.

2011-01-14T10:45:00.001+08:00

When i thought everything was fine, it went the other way instead. Fuck.