Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty much contented with life right now. Through the ups and downs, this has definitely been one hell of a ride for me. Yet I still think there's more to come and yup! I'm in love with you even more each day, not showing it to you but I am. Oh well, I'm in love, that's all that matters! Goodnight! ;)

xx

When nothing else matter, but you. Thank god for everything. Really pleased, and contented with whatever I have right now. Wouldn't wanna trade this life with anything else in this world....Love you avi! :)

Love you like a love song baby ;)

Life's been really tough these days. I seriously suck at this. I'm sorry. I love you still.

Sucks to be me now. I am really scared you might just leave me for her. Now that you guys been talking, sigh I don't know. But I feel really insecure. Like you might fall for her and forget me eventually. Well you used to like her. I don't know how you might be feeling whenever you talked to her. All I know is that, I'm just scared you might fall in love with her all over again. Yes it's ridiculous to feel this way, but I can't help but to feel this way. You might be getting over me and wanna be with her? I don't know. I feel very insecure. You don't know how much my heart drops seeing you do things which affects me so much. I'm sorry I over react. I can't help it myself. It's like you don't seem to be interested in us anymore. I'm sure as hell am afraid to lose you, I don't know bout you tho. I bet you'd be ok to walk away from this. I don't know. I guess I should care less and let you do things you want to. Guess I shouldn't be so affected with the things you do. Guess I should be ok with all the things you do, and forget bout it. I don't know what to do right now.

I'm not that strong anymore avi, I'm not. But all I know is that I love you, more than you can ever imagine.

"Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more"

I've always loved you, and I'll still love you.

Dear Avi,

I SWEAR TO GOD I MISS YOU LIKE HELL. LIKE REALLY FREAKING MUCH ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES I TALKED TO MYSELF, THINKING THAT YOU ARE HERE BESIDE ME AND I THOUGHT I WAS HUGGING YOU....BUT NO, I'M NOT. REALITY DAWNED UPON ME WHEN I REMEMBERED YOU WERE ACTUALLY AT MELBOURNE AND NOT HERE WITH ME.

THIS SUCKS TO BE AWAY FROM YOU. 10 DAYS FEELS LIKE 10 YEARS AVI, YOU'VE GOT NO GODDAMN IDEA HOW TOUGH IT IS FOR ME HERE. YES I MAY BE EXAGGERATING BUT HELL NO, IT'S TOUGH AVI. IT HAS BEEN A STRUGGLE FOR ME, RIGHT FROM THE DAY YOU LEFT. I CAN'T SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT, EAT LIKE I'VE NEVER EATEN FOR YEARS, CRYING LIKE I'M DYING OR SOMETHING. IT'S JUST TOUGH AVI. AND WHATEVER I JUST SAID WILL NEVER BE EQUIVALENT TO WHAT I'M FEELING NOW. I NEED YOU NOW, WELL MAYBE ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW I'M FEELING NOW. I'VE BEEN ALONE FOR WAY TOO LONG NOW. JUST WHEN I NEEDED SOME COMPANY TO MAKE TIME PASS FASTER, I DON'T HAVE ANY. JUST NOT NOW AND THAT'S NOT FAIR FOR ME. THIS IS NOT. AND THIS SUCKS. TO BE ALONE. THIS SUCKS AVI. I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY. AND I AM GOING INSANE THINKING BOUT HOW LONG I'VE NOT SEEN YOU, HUG YOU AND KISS YOU.

I MISS YOU AVI. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, IT FUCKING HURTS. L

Dear Avi,

Been 9 days huh? Well, you know what? I miss you so much. Though these days I've been tryna get you off my mind, I can't seem to do so. Everywhere I go, reminds me of you. Everyone out there, reminds me of you. Everything I do, reminds me of you. I just can't explain this feeling, I think about you everyday.

I hope you'd know how much you really mean to me. Right now, I am dying, yearning and longing, to hear your voice. Even if it's just for a while. You do know that my heart still skipped a beat, when you talk to me, be it facebook, twitter, text, chat, phonecalls or even in person. I hope you feel the same way too. Cos I definitely am not fabricating tales. I love you so much and this feelings seems to get bigger and stronger as time goes on.

Ok I'm sorry, I feel like it's too cheesy and crappy. I hope you're having a really good time over at the other side of the world. As for me, well......I'm doing pretty good I reckon. Really can't wait for the next 2 days to be over and done with. Can't wait to see you. I'll be waiting.

I love you.

xx

Dear Avi,

First and foremost, happy 20th birthday my dear Avinesh Mana Mohan. May all your wishes/dreams come true and a year older is a year wiser alright! Hope you had a blast and a really good one at the other side of the world. Sorry if I can't be there for you on this very special day. But you know how badly I wanna be there with you right? It's ok tho! Like I said I'm gonna make it up to you when you get back here ok! But.......to get you your present you hafta wait ok, yknow Iknow ;)

Other than that, I really miss you dear :( Had a really bad night last night, thinking bout you. What's worse was that I was all alone at home, at that point of time. Didn't have anyone whom I could talk to, and all I could afford to do was cry. Guess I'm not that strong. So yup, 7 more days and you're back. I hope I can spend the next few days doing things, cos honestly, when I'm alone, all I could only think of is you. Maybe I should keep myself busy. Just so I could keep , myself occupied. Right now, you're asleep. Having your first 20-years-old sleep. Hehehe. Hope you dream of me :) Alright, I really can't wait for you to come back. See you soon baby. Love you Avinesh Mana Mohan, forever and always♥♥

xx

Dear Avi,

Guess what, we've got 8 days left till we can finally see each other, in real life!!! So gonna hug you real tight....till you suffocate. Hehe ok no! Anyway, yup. I've been managing well so far here without you. Quite tough tho cos every second, I'll always think bout you without fail. But, fret not. I've been doing things to keep myself occupied. Yup. So far, so good :)

Hope you're doing good down there too. Take plenty of photos cos I wanna see them when you get back here ok. And and, your big day is in a few hours time. Really hope you have a good time there ok. Wish I could be there :( Sighhhhhhhhh, but it's ok. I can have you all by myself once you get back. And I'd make it up to you ok!!!!!!!!! Alright I hope you are doing fine there baby. Love you so much Avi!!! See you real soon ;)

xx

Dear Avi,

It's been two days since we've last seen/met each other. Only god knows how dearly/badly I wanna see your face. It's real bad. I can go crazy/insane thinking bout you every second. You never fail to be on my mind all the time. The more I stay alone, the more I miss you. Can't wait for the next 9 days to be over and done with. Finally I'll meet you.

As for now, life's been pretty bad not having you here by my side. Yet to get use to your absence. But it's true what they said, that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's all a matter of time. By 24th you'd be back, god's willing. I'll pray for you to have a safe flight back home. I'll be waiting for you ok. And......I'm really sad cos I can't and won't be able to be there for you on your big day 17/12 :( You know how bad I wanna spend your birthday together with you, don't you? Please just get back home as soon as possible ok. For all that matters now is that, I know you're doing well and good on the other side of the world :) Well to me, that's what matters most. Hope you read the letters each day. Just so to keep yourself reminded of me. Wish I could be there, wish you know how crazy it is to be miles away from you. Wish you'd knew.

Ok it's all good tho. I'm managing well :) The class has got plans over the holidays, so it'll keep me occupied for the time being. Hope I'll pull through tonight, the second night, without you. And you know what would be the best thing that could happen now? To hear your voice. I'd trade everything I have just so I could hear your voice right now. That's how bad, I truly miss you.

Please be good and hope you're having fun there ok? Love you and miss you more, bigger than the universe is now.

xx

Avi, hope you'll have a safe and pleasant flight to Aussie later. God knows how much I really miss you now. But, 10 days, by next weekend you'll be back. Really hope time flies really really super fast, just so you'd be back right here with me. There's so many things I wanna tell you, plenty of things Avi. As of now, all you need to know is that I love you so much. And all I really want right now is you to be here with me. Every time, I'm gonna pray real hard, that you'll be safe wherever you are, whoever you are with and whenever it is. Please please, do enjoy yourself as well while you're there with your family. Have lotsa fun and don't worry bout me ok! I'll be fine and good too. Just remember that I'll be there for you and am patiently waiting for 24th to come right now. Alright dear, love you so much. See you real soon :)

xx

Hi, so I had the most awesomest 17th ever. And yup I mean it when I said awesomest ever. Thank you to all those who made it happen and I really am thankful and grateful for all the trouble you all had to go through and all that you guys have done for me. Love you all to bits and pieces.

To my handsomest and cutest boy, thank you for everything and you're the bestest gift I've ever had. No words can describe how happy I am right now to be with you. Thank god for that. I love you, forever and always.

xx